When I was in rehab, one of the first things we are asked to do, is to find seven values that we lost in our addiction, so that we can in turn cultivate them while sober, and reclaim what we lost. These values are essential so almost everything we did in rehab, and they are meant to take with us out to the real world, and to live them and to have them keep us from relapsing and going back to drinking and drugging.
Once we identify these values, we are asked to come up with value projects for each of them; a way for us to really put that value in our heart, and help it stick. These projects are meant to be done while in rehab, so getting them done ranges from approximately 30-90 days.
It was near the end of my stay, and I was in my therapist's office. We are talking about my value projects, and I told him that one of my values -
resilience - was tough for me, and that I couldn't think of what to do for a project. He asked me what I would think about starting a blog - THIS blog - to spread the message of hope and healing to every alcoholic addict out there - that if I could open up, and show the world the healing wounds inside of me, then maybe I could help even just one person seek out help - whether that be rehab, or the AA program, or whatever. My therapist knew about my previous, quite popular blog I wrote for about 7 years -
Blogxygen - where I documented my recovery from anorexia nervosa. He knew that starting a new blog and writing a post every day would take a lot of resilience, because bearing my soul every day and expecting all of you guys to accept it and come along for the ride isn't the easiest feat.
But I'm doing it. Because sometimes, living your values is the hardest thing you'll ever do in this world. I've also learned, though, that living your values brings more joy and contentment than I ever found at the bottom of an empty bottle.
So I'll keep going. I'll keep writing.
I am resilient.
